When You've Hit Your Limit

Unfortunately I don't have the patience I'd like to have. Fortunately, I know this, and I know I have more than I used to, AND I know that when my patience has left the building, Todd is there to take over.

I hit that wall at 5:30 this morning. I had been awake on Dylan's floor since 3am. She had been awake also. Any time I moved her little head shot off the bed making sure I wasn't leaving. By the time 5:30 rolled around I was done. My whole body hurt because we have next to nothing in the way of a carpet pad, I wasn't sleeping, Dylan wasn't sleeping and I knew that if I spent one more minute on the floor in her room I was going to lose it. I got up, walked into our room and told Todd "I don't care what you do or how you do it, but you deal with her." Am I awful? I told him to "deal" with her. At 5:30, I'm impressed that's all I said. But I was more impressed that Todd quickly got up, grabbed his pillow and shut our bedroom door so I could get some much needed rest. He took a screaming Dylan downstairs, because of course, she wanted mommy, and let her cry it out there.

This morning, at 9am, all was quiet. That was a beautiful sound. What wasn't so beautiful was waking up and seeing Dylan curled up in a ball at the bottom of the stairs, right next to the gate, waiting for me to come down. Todd informed me that he told Dylan I would be downstairs when she woke up, so she slept at the base of the stairs waiting for me. Poor girl!

We had another rough day. I think Dylan is feeling so much better. Her appetite is back and she doesn't have a fever, but she is just so exhausted. She hasn't gotten a decent nights sleep, or a nap, in four days. The slightest thing sets her off for 20 minutes or more. Asking her a question she doesn't want to answer results in a 15 minute tantrum. There's no guessing what you can and can't do, what you can and can't say. And there is absolutely no way to fix it.

Todd gave me a break again when he took both the kids downstairs and let me be for a few hours before lunch. It was heavenly. I tried to plan my Sunday School lesson, but found myself completely unable to focus. As soon as I tried to focus on anything, my eyes started to droop and I would find myself napping.

Finally, it was time for dinner. Dylan had fallen asleep after screaming for an hour. Yup, a full hour. After the first 45 minutes of screaming and rolling around on the floor, I picked her up, took her into the theater room, and shut the door. Apparentl that was something I "couldn't" do. Or shouldn't do, but I did it anyway. More crying for another 25 minutes, then the all important silence. It was divine. Waking her up, was not.

More screaming. Lots of screaming. No eating, just screaming. Even though I had gotten 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep, and gotten two more hours of peace, I was still having a rough day. Dylan had worn me out. Luckily, I had an escape plan.

One of my parents' oldest friends was in town to watch her son play in a baseball tournament. He had his last game tonight and my parents asked if I wanted to go along. I jumped at the chance. I asked Todd if he minded, and he quickly said no. What a trooper! He know's how much I needed to get out of the house.

We went to the game and it was soooo cold. But fantastic. No crying. No screaming. No whining. Just a cold night, and a fun game. Jeff's team played so well and they won their game...and the tournament. It was great to watch Jeff play and to see him play well. I remember when he was so tiny and watching him grow up. I can't believe he's in High School! That makes me so old.

Here are just two quick shots of Jeff in action. A leadoff batter and the starting shortstop. It doesn't get much better than that!