"Raising Boys"

Earlier this year I joined a book club with several women from church. Each person chooses a book and agrees to host that month's discussion of the book. We just finished our third book, and I must say, for the first time, I didn't finish this book. I did, however, go into this month's choice with a bad attitude.

The title of the book was Raising Boys and it sounded very much like a self-help book. It basically discusses exactly what the title describes, the best way to raise boys. Now, to be honest, I did try to read this book. It was only 200 pages and should have been finished in an afternoon. And to be more honest, when I did pick up the book, it was an easy read and was written with quite a bit of comic relief. My problem was, it took me forever to pick the book back up after I set it down. I would go days without reading and that's just not like me. Because of this, I never finished this book, and that's not like me either. Regardless of the book, no matter how bad it is, once I've started it, I have to finish it. Until now.

Let me take a step back though...I loathe self-help books. Those that I've read seem to say, in essence, "this is what I say, this is how it is, there is no room for discussion." I hate that! Who's to say that every circumstance is the same? Or in the case of this book, that every child and every family is the same? I must admit, this book wasn't written exactly that way, but it didn't really tell me anything that common sense hasn't already clued me into.

Major plot points: 1) Boys need a father to be involved in their lives. (Really??) 2) At some point, boys will start to mature and think about girls and all that goes with it. (I never would have guessed.) and 3) Boys' testosterone levels skyrocket and plummet many times throughout childhood and adolescence. (Makes sense to me.)

Nothing really earth shattering for me, but I went to the discussion hoping to hear something enlightening from the group of women. Obviously, I couldn't relate to a lot of the book because Isaac is only 9 months old, but I thought maybe I'd learn something from someone else's experience.

Was I ever so lucky!!!

A lady from our ward showed up to book club with an addendum to the book. She has 4 boys ranging in age from about 3-10 and decided she needed to impart her wisdom that the book didn't cover. I will forever be grateful for the knowledge Jill passed on to me. I'm interested in finding out if any of these things are true, but, oh so scared at the same time...

Here's her list:

1. Expect the unexpected


2. Superman reigns supreme


3. Provide yourself with a "safe landing" (ie., a toilet you can call your own)


4. Don't be surprised if your younger boys consider underwear optional


5. Give yourself a "double-barrier" when making phone calls. (Back to the bathroom, I find the toilet the best place because you can lock yourself into the bedroom and then once more into the bathroom thus maximizing the sound-proofing ability)


6. Sticks, poles, brooms and other harmful, unidentified objects will always become swords and guns. Just surrender and buy the toy.


7. Brooms also make good Harry-Potter Nimbus 2000's. Always keep a spare in the event the broom meets an untimely death.


8. Interest in the remote control and in video games runs on the Y-chromosome. You may see the trait begin to emerge as early as 6 months as your youngster begins to toy with the buttons and explore its saliva-enduring abilities. NOTE: We've already found this to be true.


9. Boys don't care how they "look." "Outfits" mean nothing to them, however they will probably develop a deep affinity to one or two shirts they cannot let go of.


10. Put lots of padding around the couches and beds -- in the likely event of falls.


11. Have a lot of family home evening lessons on gravity -- it's real!!! This is especially timely with you little boy discovers his superman costume does not make him fly. (refer to #2)


12. Don't keep dead animals in the fridge, especially fish you've caught. We've discovered their eyeballs might go missing.


13. Make sure you have a year's supply of bandaids.


14. Buy a video game system if you're looking for an effective bribing tool.


15. Make sure you get caller ID. Don't ever expect help with answering the phone.


16. Boys may give their mommies flowers but the "amazing" rocks you get from them are far better treasures in their eyes.

I loved this list, although I think a lot of it could work for girls too. Either way, it will be interesting to watch Isaac grow and see just what type of addendum I'll be able to make for this book. After all, the addendum seems far more realistic and should add that much more spice to our house!